We’ve all been there; a new year, a new chance to set some goals and make things happen! Or so we think for a few weeks…
Written by: Camille Lucy
What happens next is no surprise to us chronic Resolution-makers: “Failure.” Try again, next year! This constant weeble-wobble – up and down, feel good then feel bad, going from hopeful to helpless back to hopeful for another round – battle against ourselves can leave us feeling less than excited when New Years rolls around, again and someone asks us what our resolution is. But, often times, we make resolutions out of fear or lack, and our intentions to change, while we may think they’re strong or feasible, are less than sustainable because of this.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. And when we are trying to “lose weight,” for example, to look better on the outside, it may be a more realistic choice to “eat healthier” to become more vibrant, energetic and as a result, lose weight the right way, over a period of time. Gradual lifestyle changes stick; diets or fads don’t. When we truly love and honor ourselves, we stay committed for the long haul. And the results are undeniable: a radiant and able body, mind and soul, shining from the inside out, stronger and healthier relationships and a dramatically improved quality of life.
So, here is a list of 10 New Years Resolutions worth keeping, that you can work towards every day, that will help you to become healthier, happier and closer as a family – and they don’t have an expiration date!
Kindness. Studies have found that practicing kindness acts like nourishment and improves creativity, growth and overall health. Start at home: be kind to yourself, and your family. Redirect your mind when you feel upset by something, or take a moment of “time out” before responding and reacting, and teach your children to do the same. A little kindness goes a long way. And it’s like any other “muscle;” the more you use it and stretch it, the easier it is to respond with kindness, even in unpleasant situations.
Trust and Faith. There is something inherently scary about the “unknown.” We all flock towards safety and comfort. But the thing about life is that there is little certainty, and though we think we are in control, it’s really an illusion. Trust allows you to become comfortable with the unknown, and faith seals the deal by easing your mind, knowing that no matter what happens, it will all be okay. This is a priceless tool to teach your children that will stay with them for the long haul.
Acceptance. There’s nothing more painful than arguing with reality. Suffering stems from the denial of “what is.” Resisting what is will not change it. In fact, it seems to bring us more of what we do not want. You may wish you were ten pounds lighter, or that your kids were not so messy, or that your spouse listened to you more. But when you stop focusing on what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s right, you may find that your kids will suddenly begin helping out and picking up after themselves, and your spouse begins to pay closer attention to what you say.
Gratitude. Piggybacking on acceptance, once we learn to let go of how we “visualize” things “should” be, we can redirect our focus onto appreciating what is. Sure, the house is messy and your kids don’t understand you are constantly picking up after them. But… you can switch your focus and perception to appreciate the fact that you all share a home that can be messy. You have shelter, food, clothing, and everything you need. You have each other. You have children that are able and well, well enough to leave a big old mess behind! This is great news! This is a blessing. Gratitude opens the door to see one another for the value and beauty inside of each and every one of you.
Self-Love. Resolve to love yourself each and every day with all of your “flaws” and all of your beauty. Love your body regardless of the number that appears on the scale, but because of the amazing vehicle it is. It allows you to feel endless sensations, pleasures, and experiences during this lifetime. For one, you get to hug and kiss your loved ones! Learning to love ourselves for all that we are and all that we aren’t is a sure-fire way to improve the overall quality of life. And it’s the springboard from which we make healthy choices that honor our body, mind, and spirit.
Honor Your Body, Mind & Spirit. You only get one body, mind and spirit in this lifetime. Love yourself enough to make choices that honor your value and worth and nourish your body and soul. Choose foods that make you feel good, rather than how they make you “look.” Move your body with joy. Everything that goes into your mind and body is a choice. If you are what you “eat” (or do and practice), what do you wish to be? Clean, fresh and whole… or junk? Flexible, agile and playful… or sedentary and glum? Happy and upbeat… or stressed and sad? Choose wisely, choose with love.
Listen to Your Heart. Your heart is your inner compass that knows when things feel bad or feel good. Give yourself some credit; you know a lot more than you think you do. And so do your children and family members. We don’t always know what is best for everyone else. We have to have faith and trust that they have a guiding light inside of them, too. Sometimes, we overthink and analyze and lose sight of how things feel. Check your intentions. Does this feel good, or does the choice stem fear? Quiet the mind, go deep within, and ask your heart for help with an answer.
Forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act of self-love that frees everyone from the bondage of negativity. We do not have to condone the actions or words that hurt us in order to forgive. Forgive often (yourself, the past, others); the benefits far exceed those of holding onto anger or upset (remember, in that case, you get to be right, but you don’t get to be happy). Make the space in your hearts, in your home, and allow forgiveness to be the glue that holds you all together in love, acceptance, and grace.
Presence. No matter the question, presence is always the answer. Being mindful means being present at this very moment in time. A mindful practice of meditation, yoga or time in nature, filters stress out of the body. Studies show improvements in the mental, emotional, physical and social health and well-being of the children that practice it, as well as adults.
Quality Time. Technology is a superb tool we have come to rely on. And with all its benefits, there are some drawbacks including a loss of personal and quality time together. Resolve to turn off all devices, and spend some one-on-one time with your family. Or even with yourself! No app can replace the memories made with each other, embracing, sharing eye contact, laughter and love. Show them that they’re worth it. And honor yourself enough to choose this priceless gift of uninterrupted togetherness.
Resolutions do not have to be quick fixes that get you from A to B in X amount of days. By gradually forming healthy habits, practicing self-love and self-care, your family will see dramatic shifts in joy, laughter, health, and overall well-being. Your connection will be strengthened, you will become more resilient individually and collectively, and you will be able to enjoy each other – and life – more and more each day. And, ironically, the less you fuss over your pant size, the quicker – with less stress and more fun – you will notice it drop (hint: when you feel good, you look good). Allow this New Year to be one that brings your family closer together, and brings each of you closer to your true nature – love, joy, ease, acceptance, gratitude and an abundance of blessings the whole year through.
Camille Lucy is a Certified Holistic Health Coach, Reiki & Raindrop Technique Practitioner, Ordained Holistic Minister, Certified Meditation Teacher (in the process) and a Mother of 3 girls. Camille is also the author of, “The (Real) Love Experiment: Explore Love, Relationships & The Self.” Learn more about her and her adventure(s) at CamilleLucy.com
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